Last Fall, a couple weeks after having done their family photos, I received an email from Rachel telling me that she was pregnant with twins. She was over the moon – albeit a bit nervous (obviously)! She already had two sons and was so excited to be adding to her family again – times 2! She booked her newborn session and we waited.
Several months later I received a heart breaking email from Rachel. She was contacting me to let me know that they had lost one of the babies. I was so heartbroken for her. I, myself, have miscarried. I miscarried our first baby at 10 weeks and it devastated me. I felt entirely alone and lost and I didn’t feel like I had anyone I could talk to. Miscarriage is such a difficult thing to experience. No one talks about it, so you feel so alone in a time where you need as much support as possible.
Losing a twin adds an extra twist because you are ecstatic about the living baby, but you’re mourning the baby you lost. It has to pull your heart in so many different directions. You don’t know whether to celebrate or to mourn.
I wanted so badly for this session to go well. I wanted to give Rachel images she could treasure forever. I wanted to give her photos that she could look at when her heart was heavy and she needed a reminder that God has a plan and that she has a little angel looking down on her and her boys.
The session went fantastic. Sweet little Jay slept well and we got some great shots – but Jay hadn’t given me any smiles. I don’t get smiles from every newborn … it’s actually rather rare to get a newborn smile, but I always hold out hope. We were nearly done with the session and I was doing a setup in remembrance of their angel baby and just as I placed Jay with a tiny felted rainbow (he was their rainbow after a difficult storm) and got up to snap the shot, he smiled! I was totally taken aback. What are the odds? I was completely thrilled that we had this precious shot of him with this rainbow and a smile. Then I grabbed a sweet rainbow lovie that Rachel received as a gift to signify her sweet angel in heaven and wrapped Jay’s arms around it. Just as I got up to take that shot, he smiled AGAIN! I about lost it. The ONLY two shots all day that were a nod to his angel sibling and he smiled in both shots.
I have, at many times, considered getting out of photography and getting a “normal” job. There is a ton that goes on on the backend of a business like this and it, along with all the time spent shooting and editing, take a lot of time and energy away from my family. But, it’s sessions like these and clients like these that make it impossible for me to ever walk away. I absolutely love what I do and I love my clients just as much. My clients become like family. I celebrate with them. I mourn with them. I commiserate with them. I laugh with them. I’m so grateful that I get to be a part of some of their biggest moments in life.
Take a peek at Jay’s session!
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